Whether you’re exchanging charming Christmas jokes for kids over your family’s Christmas Eve dinner or sending Santa jokes to all your pals, funny Christmas jokes are the perfect way to get into the holiday mood. After all, after this year, we could all use a little more Christmas happiness!
These hilarious holiday-themed dad jokes will make you laugh your jingle bells off, with anything from ridiculously crazy holiday puns to utterly humorous Christmas jokes for kids. And, for an added dose of holiday cheer.
So, with the aid of this list of the 100 most hilarious Christmas jokes for kids we’ve ever seen, read on and start spreading seasonal pleasure one funny joke at a time. See Angela Merkel & Birds Now A Funny Meme.
Funniest Christmas jokes
1. What do you call a snarling reindeer? Rude-olph.
2. What did the stamp have to say about the Christmas card? Stick with me, and we’ll get somewhere!
3. How does Christmas compare to your job? You put forth all the effort, yet some obese guy in a suit takes all the credit.
4. Why was there no one bidding on Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? It was because there were two deer!
5. What do you name a frightening-looking reindeer? It’s a cari-boo.
6. What is the Queen’s title for her Christmas broadcast? The One and Only Show!
7. What do reindeer say before cracking a joke? This one is going to snow you!
8. What are Santa’s little helpers known as? Clauses with subordinate meanings
9. Why don’t you see Santa in hospitals? Because he has his own self-care!
10. What is the distinction between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? No-el.es appears in the Christmas alphabet.
11. Why is it becoming more difficult to purchase Advent calendars? Their time is running out!
12. How do you know when Santa is nearby? His gifts are always detectable.
13. Scrooge won the football game in what way? The Christmas ghost has vanished!
14. What do you call a singing and dancing elf? Elfis.
15. What do furious mice exchange for Christmas? Cross-mouse playing cards!
16. Where does Santa put all of his cash? At the neighbourhood snow bank,
17. What do you call a bankrupt Santa Claus? Saint Nickel-free
18. What do you call a group of chess players that gloat about their victories in a hotel lobby? Chess enthusiasts brag in an open foyer!
19. What did the beaver have to say about the Christmas tree? You look fantastic while gnawing!
20. Why are crabs unable to celebrate Christmas? They’re shellfish, after all.
21. What did Miley Cyrus get for Christmas? Twerky!
22. Which Christmas carol is every parent’s favourite? It’s a quiet night.
23. What does Santa do with sluggish elves? They are sent to an elf farm.
24. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A little spy!
25. Snowmen eat what for breakfast? Ice Crispies or Frosted Flakes
26. How do snowmen travel? They’re riding an icicle!
27. When Santa takes a break, what do you call him? Pause for Santa.
28. What happens when Santa’s elves misbehave? He throws the sack at them!
29. What happens if you consume Christmas decorations? Tinsil-itis!
30. What did Santa say to the cigarette smoker? Please do not smoke; it is harmful to my elf!
Kids Christmas Jokes
31. What is the gingerbread man’s bed made of? Cookie trays!
32. Why was the youngster freezing on Christmas morning? It was December, after all.
33. What does a sheep say to say Merry Christmas? Fleece wishes you a Merry Christmas!
34. What happens at the end of Christmas? “Y!” is a letter. ”
35. What happens when you combine a Christmas tree and an iPad? It’s a pineapple!
36. What became of the man who stole a Christmas calendar? He received a 12-month sentence.
37. When does New Year’s Day fall before Christmas? EACH YEAR!
38. What subjects does an elf learn in school? The elf-child
39. What is the favourite Christmas story of a bird? The Story of the Finch Who Stole Christmas
40. What kind of motorcycle does Santa prefer? Davidson, Holly!
41. How do sheep greet each other on Christmas? We wish you a Merry Christmas.
42. What happens when Santa becomes a detective? Santa CLUES!
43. What is the favourite sport of an elf? No pole vaulting
44. How can a snowman shed pounds? He’s waiting for the weather to warm up!
45. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky? It appears to be raining deer.
46. So, what did one snowman say to the other? Are you smelling carrots?
47. When the sun gets too scorching, what do snowmen do? a tranquillizer.
48. What should you present to your parents at Christmas? A list of your desires
49. When his buddies wish him a Merry Christmas, what does a cranky sheep say? Bah humbug!
50. Who brings Christmas gifts to elephants? Claus Elephanta
51. Rudolph has no idea when Christmas is coming. He is referring to his calf.
52. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand on its own? It didn’t have any legs.
53. What is Santa’s role at the North Pole? Because the penguins expelled him from the South Pole!
54. Why didn’t Rudolph earn a decent grade? because he is remembered in history.
55. What is Jack Frost’s favourite part of school? Tell me about the snow.
56. Which ball does not bounce? It’s a snowball.
57. What did one snowman say to another? You’re fine.
58. At a Christmas celebration, how do hens dance? From chick to chick
59. What falls at the North Pole yet is never hurt? Snow!
60. What types of photographs do elves take? Elfies!
61. Jokes about Father Christmas
62. What happens to Santa if he gets caught in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
63. Which band is the Grinch’s least favourite? Who are they?
64. What happened to the thief of an Advent calendar? He was given 25 days!
65. How did the Christmas ornament get obsessed with Christmas? He’d been obsessed with trees his entire life.
66. Who brings gifts to baby sharks during Christmas? Santa’s Jaws!
67. Why was Santa’s teeny helper unhappy? because he had really poor self-esteem.
68. Orna Ment’s book, How to Decorate a Tree, was never written.
69. How does the Grinch use a baseball bat? runs after hitting a gnome.
70. What songs do fish sing during the holidays? Corals for the Holidays
71. What is the favourite candy of a Christmas tree? Ornamints.
72. What did Santa do on his speed dating date? He drew a cracker!
73. What do you call a child who refuses to believe in Santa Claus? A rogue who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
74. Where do polar bears cast their ballots? North Carolina’s Election!
75. Why did Frosty want a divorce? His wife was a complete jerk.
76. What happens when you cross Santa with a duck? A Merry Christmas Quacker!
77. Why does Scrooge adore reindeer? because he values every penny!
78. What does “Oh, Oh, Oh” mean? Santa is walking in reverse!
79. What is Santa’s favourite type of snack? Pringles are crisp.
80. What was the snowman doing rummaging among the carrots? He had his nose picked!
81. Why do mommies adore Christmas? They’re all about the wrapper.
82. What is the significance of Santa’s three gardens? So he can yell “ho ho ho!”
83. What was the cost of Santa’s sleigh? Nothing. It was completely free!
84. What is the finest Christmas gift ever? You just can’t beat a broken drum!
85. What can you do to help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Bring them to the elf.
86. What do snowmen wear as hats? The ice caps!
87. What did Adam say on the eve of Christmas? “Merry Christmas, Eve!”
88. What do you call an elf that wears earplugs? Whatever you want.He’s not hearing you!
89. Santa Claus is of what nationality? North Pole.
90. What happens when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
91. What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.
92. On Christmas Eve, why does Santa Claus crawl down the chimney? Because it is him.
93. What is the distinction between Santa Claus and a knight? One kills the dragon, while the other pulls the sleigh.
94. Why was the Christmas tree taken to the barbershop? It had to be clipped!
95. What is Santa Claus’ preferred washing detergent? Yule-Tide
96. Why was Theresa May fired from her position as Nativity Manager? She was incapable of running a stable administration!
97. How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles in pristine condition? He employs Comet.
98. Which pizza is Santa’s favourite? A deep-pan crisp, and even one!
99. What is Santa’s favourite Ramones song? Bop blitzkrieg.
100. I’m unable to access the chocolates in my advent calendar. Foiled once more.